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This paper explores a revelatory moment in fieldwork-the death of a close friend and research participant who died suddenly in suspicious circumstances. Her mourning period challenged my understandings of grief in Lihir. In a previous article I argued that grief in Lihir is resilient and focused on remembering and forgetting, rather than emotions. However this particular mourning period was an emotionally charged space and time. I explore what made this death and grief distinctive, arguing that the nature of her death provoked s