I'm a Sustainable Solutions expert based in London.. The short version is that traditional speed bumps are as welcome to our roadways as a downpour is to a backyard cookout. Of course they're functional, but they detract visually and render your ride as ungainly as a pogo stick on cobblestone—quite the paradox, wouldn't you agree? Step right up to the cobbled speed table, a blend of the quaintness of cobblestones and the necessity of preventing cars from cutting us off.